March

Goodbye, March. Wish the April more good than you.
Longer to feel. Longer happiness

Counting time. Passing time.

Still count the days until the exam begins. Still count the hard endeavors that I've already take so far. I'm ready to face the exam. I come closer to my future.
All things come swiftly... And we don't even realize of what things that we have to face for. Our future


♥March
Sun   Mon   Tue   Wed   Thu   Fri   Sat
                             1      2     3
4       5      6      7     8     9     10 
11      12      13      14    15     16    17
18     19      20     21    22    23    24
25    26      27     28   29    30    31

♥April
Sun   Mon   Tue   Wed   Thu   Fri   Sat
1        2      3      4     5     6     7
8       9      10     11     12     13    14
15      16      17     18    19     20   21
22     23      24    25   26     27   28
29     30

Maaf

Aku selama ini membohongi kalian dan diriku sendiri. Selama ini senyumanku palsu, aku tersenyum dalam penderitaanku. Aku menyembunyikannya dan berusaha untuk tidak pernah mengatakan sejujurnya.

Miss My December ♥

December to regrettable
December to remember
I miss every words that we hadn't say. I miss every steps that we hadn't  take together. I miss every effort that we didn't do. I miss every support that we hadn't give to each others. I miss, Thee.
Truly you. A mysterious hu(man).

I know it isn't again. Nevertheless, I still miss my "December"

Untold

Suka sama sesorang yang nggak bisa disebutkan. Ngga pengen dunia tau siapa orang itu. Cukup aku

Ngga ada seseorang yang bisa diajak cerita. Jadi, mencoba diemin perasaan itu, dan pada akhirnya... Entahlah

Makasih udah izinin aku tau, walaupun ngga pernah ngomong satu sama lain. Aku pikir itu meninggalkan kesan berharga 'banget'. Bisa melihat sosokmu yang misterius itu lewat dihadapan. Dan sekarang, jangan paksa aku untuk jadi aku yang dulu. Aku sedang mencoba membangun masa depanku untuk sesuatu yang lebih baik, tanpa ada bayang-bayang dari seseorang yang hanya akan menghambat segalanya.

"I let him with someone else."


Inspired by: My Friend's story

Mati

Pada kertas yang tak merasa.
yang tak ditiupkan nyawa
Hadapkanlah aku padanya
Pena ini mulai membebani
Maret dalam hujatan dan cobaan

Mengapa manusia itu masih hidup?
Aku sudah pernah bunuhnya dengan kata-kataku
Tolol. Kenapa hanya dengan kata?
Lalu aku tikam dia dengan belati ilusi
Bodoh. Kenapa hanya ilusi?
Lalu aku robek urat nadi pergelangan
dan melihatnya mulai tersayat
tempat darahnya dan sang hawa menyatu

"aku bunuh diriku sendiri"

Hanya memastikan, tidakkah manusia itu
tergelitik sanubarinya
Tidak juga.
Pada ujung lelahku, kesabaran yang
terlampau pada ambang
Taruhkannya dengan nyawa.
Meneguk cairan plumbum mendidih, dengan raksa
mulai gerogoti kerongkonganku
Dan hirup metana yang terlanjur

Aku bergayutan, dalam harapan masa depan
Hadapkanlah aku padanya.
Aku akan berbicara, dan saling menatap
Mungkin tak singkat. Mungkin berlama selamanya
Aku Mati.
Biarlah aku busuk 'tuk buatmu sadar.
Aku Mati.

Adele - Don't You Remember

When will I see you again?

You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any seams,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,
But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?

Dear March

Dear March,
please make no sorrow for my next steps
No tears, no feeling...
No anger, no burden...
No hurt, no pain...
Let me have a well-think of you, well memories

If that broken, don't make any scar on every lover's lungs
If that blossom, don't fall it into an endless spring
If that necessary, don't make any brain be forget
If that air, don't make any breath are breathless
If that lovers, bind them on a strong relationship

I admire him, but not for the next
I can't let him, but can for the next
Like what I say, like what I feel
Like a number of tears ran out my eyes,
wetting my spectacles
I would
I could
Don't underestimate every ways,
everything that I will do

Feel my self broken. Not into pieces, just into smithereens
No dusk is meaningful, no dawn is holy
But I lay on a day, that include part of times
That I could breathe, that I could take, that everyone not understand
That everyone couldn't feel. It's hidden

Dear Universe, Dear March,
Let me exhale the depth sorrows in your beginning,
and then let me breathe the joyful in your end, again

Dear Universe, Thee, and March,
I'm not hoping much.